Years ago I read somewhere that a particular car had been a dismal failure in Japan because it did not smile. Apparently, the Japanese car-buying public were taking their cue from the grille - if it curved upwards, it must be a happy car, if down, there was obviously something wrong to make it so sad.

It strikes me that modern car designers must have read the same article. Take a look at most of the models on sale these days and they have one thing in common - the cheesy grin. Don’t believe me? Take a look at these then:

The thing is, how many of these cars will be on sale in Japan? Okay, I presume the Japanese marques are, but the American? The big fuss about protectionist ploys on imports to Japan isn’t a complete fantasy, after all. So how did the powers that be decide that we all judge a car by whether it’s smiling or not?

Seems like a designer’s excuse to push through some very ugly grille designs, if you ask me…

As a European, I am bound to assess American cars from an outsider’s viewpoint. As can be seen in our different approaches to car racing, priorities differ according to which side of the Atlantic you hail from. Americans, with their huge distances and straight freeways, want something with plenty of power; Europeans, with tight little twisting roads, want a car that will hang on around the corners.

And so a tiny car like the Mini can become a favorite in Europe purely because it’s such fun to drive, whereas the American hungers for Mustangs, Corvettes, Chargers and Vipers. Muscle cars, in fact. Things with so much power they’ll accelerate like nobody’s business but are on only nodding acquaintance with corners.

Don’t get me wrong - Europeans love muscle cars too. We love those huge V8s, the glorious sound they make and the kick in the back when they accelerate. It’s just that our twisty little roads demand that cars can corner too. That’s the reason for all those funny little British and Italian sportscars, after all - they give the illusion of power and still go around corners as if on rails.

For this post, however, I thought I’d celebrate the tradition of American muscle cars. They are wondrous beasts and look great too.