One of the ironies of the fast sportscar is that most of us cannot afford to buy one until we’ve become somewhat of a classic vintage ourselves. And that means that inescapable facts like receding hairlines and the creeping grey invasion tend to cramp our style as dashing young men in our sporting machines.

The obvious answer is to seek artificial assistance in the guise of a wig or hairpiece but there are problems inherent in this - how much speed can you risk before wind velocity overcomes your wig’s ability to hang on to your balding pate?

Naturally, the Top Gear team have had the foresight to road test the various wigs available and you can see the result in this clip from YouTube. But spare a thought for the stoicism of their tester, Barry…

I’ll probably regret this but I couldn’t resist. Found it on YouTube, of course - a weird guy and his beloved Rover P5B.

That was the last of the Rover tanks, a last despairing cry from the Rovers of old before they tried to become modern and hip. You can see the close relationship between the P5 and the Rover 90 of the fifties - my father had one of those so I sort of understand this guy’s obsession. They were the most solid thing on the road and never let you down, after all.

All that was to disappear with the advent of the Rover 2000, a wild foray into the future for the company, followed by the long decay under the thumb of the British Motors Corporation, and then the apparent rebirth as all that was left of that disintegrating organization. But that was the Rover name only - for a real Rover you have to go back to the days of the Rover P5…

Anyway, take a look at the video and wonder what it’s all about.

There are only 400 Enzos in the world - oops, make that 399. It seems comedian Eddie Griffin has managed to wreck one of them while practising for a race to promote the film Redline. He was unhurt but the Enzo is a write off - that’s $1.5 million worth of motor car.

Daniel Sadek, whose car it was, has “mixed feelings” about the incident, apparently. Well, I guess he would.

Never mind, at least there’s one thing we can all learn from this: never let a joker borrow your car…

This has absolutely nothing to do with cars, except that it’s the Top Gear team. It’s quite funny, however, and might lift your spirits on a Monday.

The team attempt to play a song for Rednose Day (it’s a charity thing that began with Comic Relief) - and it’s quite good, amazingly enough. Just don’t ask me who Justin Hawkins is - I’m far too old to know things like that.

Anyway, here it is!